Funny take on Mel Gibson's antisemitism:

this movie really sucks, though

I have often wondered: if you were gay and happened to find someone with your same name attractive, would that be a little weird?


Answer: no, and Eva Green is really hot.

Phoenix Haus Christmas with the Cat

I want to make tacos. I want to eat Chinese food.

Another fine video, complements of da Biggest. Can't really begin to explain the woman:

I thought this picture was funny...

harlequin type ichthyosis

holy shit balls this video is heartbreaking. worst skin disorder i've ever seen! i do not recommend google image searching the disorder. in case you do, i've attached a picture of what appears to be a princess feeding a baby unicorn flowers while the big unicorn watches. the giant moon and the impossibly crystallized castle really set the scene, as the patriarch of the unicorn family neighs on pride rock. this image might help you feel better about the babies.

I JUST LOST THE GAME.

see yas

Thanks for everything, guys. I can't say that I could have asked for anything more from Phoenix Haus. My happiest days of the last few years were here. Don't have too much fun without me next semester.

"nice guys"

Here is what's been distracting me from writing papers tonight!



Accompanying links:
Some people arguing sensibly, a few people missing the point completely
A Nice Guy rant
A rebuttal to a defense on Nice Guys
"Why Nice Guys Are Often Such Losers" from Heartless Bitch

A quote:
"There are a lot of Nice Guys out there, and they are incredibly insidious, because on the surface they SEEM so sweet, so misunderstood, so very different from the boorish asshole who cheated on you or told you that those pants do, indeed, make your ass look fat. But in the end, they turn out to be using their "niceness" as an excuse to hide behind, much like medieval aristocracy used cloying perfumes to cover up the ass-stank of their unwashed bodies.

I have some news for you, Nice Guys of the world. "Nice" isn't as much of a selling point as you'd think. In fact, for most women, it's like expecting that your new car will come with wheels attached."

ANYWAY WHATEVER, I am am going to go live in Homeworksville USA now.

Jizz In My Pants

This is a personal apology to anyone afflicted by this horrific condition, as well as any la la la laadddiiiieeeessss i may have left unsatisfied

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

I am excited to watch this Lil Wayne documentary. It'll be premiering at the Sundance film festival this year. Carter Carter Carter!

what really makes things happen anyway?

"Cooperation, makes it happen," states the video short on Sesame Street. Dancing muppets, working together, singing in harmony; a creative image of what cooperatives can do for people to develop a better society that focuses on people and not on profit and its destructive luxuries. Reaching as far back as the 1600s, the Cooperative Movement in the US based itself in fighting oppression, facing economic crises, and developing an alternative structure and mindset for society.

"The fact that many Europeans migrated to North America to escape oppression contributed to their enthusiasm for cooperative projects to build a better society in their new homeland." (Merrett & Walzer, 28)

The Massachusetts Bay Colony, best known by the pilgrims of Plymouth Rock, may be the first example of a utopian community in the US. Many of these cooperative and communal living communities grew from the religious oppression rampant in Europe. Many Europeans migrated to the New World seeking to establish a counter-culture that accepted them. These communities were organized under specific communal religious principles like New Harmony in Indiana.

"They devoted themselves to the teaching of the apostles and to the communal life, to the breaking of the bread and to the prayers. [...] All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their property and possessions and divide them among all according to each one's need." (New American Bible, Acts 42-46)

New Harmony was later run by the welsh utopian and social reformer, Robert Owen, who is considered the father of the cooperative movement. The Owenites of New Harmony represented the change from independent utopian communal communities to a more organized cooperative movement. Not long after the founding of New Harmony, the Rochdale Equitable Pioneers Society birthed the modern cooperative movement and wrote the principles that govern the activities of cooperatives.

From desires to live in an alternative society to European models and economic needs, the Cooperative Movement in the US did not become widespread with the establishment of utopian communities, but with agricultural agendas. In the late 1800s cooperatives were actively promoted by The Grange organizations that worked in local regions to promote farmer owned stores based on the Rochdale principles. The Grange organization and cooperative movement received a boost after the Long Depression of 1873 characterized by economic over-expansion after the Civil War, the Black Friday panic, equine influenza that crippled industry, and the Chicago fire.

"[...] movement sprang out of farmer protests against the crop-lien system of the South." (Merrett & Walzer, 30)

This was followed by the expansion of cooperatives across the US in agricultural business. In the 1890s, the Farmer's Alliance was elect a majority of its affiliated members to Kansas Congress in able to develop into a national political party, the People's Party, that held the most successful third party contest in federal elections. In 1916 the first national organization for cooperatives was founded, the Cooperative League of the US, later to become the National Cooperative Business Association. In 1922 the Magna Carta for cooperatives was signed into law, the Capper-Volstead Act. A few years later the Great Depression hit.

"Between World War I and the Great Depression of the 1930s, the movement acquired ideological and organizational focus. A series of visionary leaders conceived of consumer cooperatives as a general answer to numerous social ills. Their vision, though it drew on experiences of working-class and farm movements, was not strongly tied to class [...] but was instead a general doctrine of consumer sovereignty and democracy through co-ops" (Merrett & Walzer, 40)

The social protests of the 1930s, grew the movement as people disillusioned with the current economic system and desperate for economic relief joined cooperative organizations. There were now over 1000 credit unions and the cooperative movement expanded further in various consumer realms: housing, health care, rural electricity, and other fields. The 1930s also saw powerful government support for cooperatives. Roosevelt's administration passed legislation in support of credit unions and other co-ops, individual legislation was also passed in roughly 26 states.

The 1940s and 1950s saw consolidation of cooperatives into stronger and more centralized organizations. In 1946, the North American Student Cooperative League, later to become the North American Student Cooperative Organization in 1968, was founded to support low-cost student housing during World War II. Cooperatives such as Land o' Lakes, GreenBelt, and Farmland Industries broke into large industry showing that cooperatives can compete economically. New York's state government started a number of cooperative housing initiatives supported by labor unions and legislation was passed to provide These decades also saw the development of new kinds of cooperatives which became more well known later.

Crisis hit the global economy in the 1970s:

"[...] the first oil crisis, the collapse of international monetary arrangements in favor of a less regulated system of currencies, and the economic crisis of high inflation combined with high unemployment. [...] followed by a recession of the early 1980s. Old industries that had been the mainstays of economies for a century were downsizing, closing, or mechanizing in new ways, with tens of thousands thrown out of work at a time. There were trade wars, with new rounds of free trade, protectionism, and bloc-building. Commodities faced falling prices on world markets. Growth was in the service sector; part-time work, multiple employments, and career changes became more frequent. With these trends came the information revolution embodied in the widespread introduction of personal computer systems and the emergence of the Internet. The information economy that has emerged during this era has been characterized by globalization, turbulance, and unpredictability." (Merrett & Walzer, 46)

New cooperatives associated with the ecological and organic-food movements. These new co-ops reflected broader changes in society as they became less associated with consuming or producing material goods and more with values, lifestyles, and services. The 1980s and 1990s saw many large successes and failures of cooperatives. Notably the GreenBelt and Berkley cooperatives closed down. 1985, the National Cooperative Business Association was founded from the Cooperative League of the US and gave cooperatives a national network and support base. In 1990, there were over 1 million units of cooperative housing. In 1995, it was reported that almost 4000 cooperatives existed and earned a net income over $2.2 billion. By 2001, there were almost 10,000 credit unions with 80 million members represented.

In the current economic crisis already a year down the recession tube, localization on the rise, recognition of a need to become more ecologically conscious and responsible, desire for accountability in democracy with increased participation, and a newly elected president calling for bottom-up restructuring of society, who is to say that cooperation cannot make it all happen.

from the bottom-up

FIRST POST OHMYGOD

I am taking this time to announce my intention of bringing a new little friend to phoenix haus, providing my parents do the right thing and buy me one for christmas.

A HEDGEHOG.

I'm going to need help naming the little critter, so begin brainstorming, Phoenicians. Hopefully this little fella will be entering our lives after the 25th.

tickets for kings of leon at the msu auditorium go on sale tomorrow. its a pretty good show i've seen it a couple times.

The light at the end of the tunnel

So I know I'm supposed to marry soup, but I found another option for my future love of my life. Yeah, that's right, a Russian catalog-order bride All I need to do is pick her out of the online catalog. I'll take a glance at her profile pic, interests, and cute little quirks in her personal description. Then, when I'm all ready to go, I'll fly over and meet her in "Moscow, St. Petersburg, or Kiev (or even a third country)"!!! We'll get some coffee (or a vodka-drink!) and relax while wiping our brows with dollar bills. I'll be myself and she'll be all lookin like Anna Kournikova-like with her super sexy tennis racket and K-Swiss sneakers. Our marriage will be splendid, so consider yourself invited if you are reading this. Just imagine our cute little tennis-warrior babies, ready to save the planet and unite East and West once and for all.

As the latest stage of my academic career is winding down, I have been reflecting on my path to success a lot.

I decided to leave the office during the time between work and class, and head to Jew class early so that I could secure my seat in the back left corner of the classroom. Fortunately, I was provided with a bit of entertainment because, when I arrived, the room was still hosting the professor and three students of the class held before mine. I was wondering why a girl had her head up the prof's ass, but when I looked at the other two students who were covered in shit, and then listened to the things they were saying, I realized what was going on, and I cannot say that I have ever witnessed such refinement in the act brown-nosing.

This has always been an issue for me. I suppose I can attempt to understand why people so shamelessly seek the favors of the individual who ultimately determines their success, but when it comes to the professors, I cannot understand why they would buy into such transparent groveling. I think it is a sign of being quite unprofessional, and I lose respect for them as a result of their love for self-reassurance. Instead, I appreciate the professor who will identify and call out the bullshit.

To cite a perfect example of a student being called out in an attempt to be an all-star, I would like to reference a class that I had with Haapaniemi a couple of years ago.

It was the first course of our core political philosophy curriculum, and we were reading the classics, such as Plato and Aristotle and all of those guys. Trying to stand out and establish himself as advanced and wholly committed to excellence, one of many dicks in the class decided to attempt to draw parallels between these classical philosophers and Machiavelli, whose theories we had not yet dissected. He pontificated for a while, and then our professor responded:

"Clearly, Miles, you have never read Machiavelli."

He left it at that and continued to call on people who offered reasonable and relevant, in addition to well-argued, points. This was a moment which confirmed my academic strategy, and I think it has paid off.

I maintain a mostly silent presence in my classes, yet I speak up only when I have something I believe to be substantial to contribute. These obnoxious people who approach classes from the kiss-ass angle end up taking away from my in-class study of course material by complicating things with external, irrelevant tidbits, and they have haunted my classes for far too long. I especially enjoy when they do poorly, because it proves that their unnecessary information has not made them any better of a student - if anything, it may have diverted their attention from course material to pulling shit together in an attempt to impress the professor.

I enjoy knowing that I am leaving this university as a successful student, yet I also enjoy the fact that many of my classmates probably think I don't know anything, because I rarely speak. The stereotypical Madison student believes that if you don't participate in class, you are not qualified to be in such courses; I have overheard people arguing this. They think they are better than everyone else at this university, and to them I say: go fuck yourselves.

I like that I have succeeded silently and modestly, and it has refined my strategic approach to many things. I know I am one to argue for things and make my opinions known, but in a different context where I am subject to the judgment of a superior authority, strategy has taken on a new importance. Comfortable in knowing that my professors have recognized my true abilities, I prefer to leave this place as an irrelevant, forgettable presence to my classmates, and a hopefully memorable individual to my friends.

I hope I'm not just really behind in viewing this video, and that you guys will be able to have a good first-time laugh.

Scarlet Takes a Tumble

Señor Chinarro "Del Montón"

This is a song I had to transcribe to practice hearing/understanding spanish...

And I liked it.

(I ended up going to the place where this video was shot.  and climbed to the castillo that he sings about.)

If I am not back to the haus in time for the meeting, since this is my last haus meeting, please, someone, propose that the haus constitution be changed from Phoenix Haus Constitution to "The Order of the Phoenix". I know that J.K. Rowling already has a work by this name, but it is uncomfortably inappropriate if we don't follow through with this.

HELL ON EARTH.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHoxl8IK7po
I feel so, so sorry for the male figure in this household.

and in less embarrassing news

As a separate post, because I don't want to taint it with all the Twilight nonsense, here are a few links for you guys, because I know you like food. I read a lot of food blogs and it would selfish of me not to share some of my favorites.

1) Bread and Honey - two ladies from Portland who blog about their foodie adventures. The recipes always please me (they are even split between the two authors, one does baking and one does cooking), their photography is really great, and their writing styles (especially Alice's) really tickle me. I used to follow her personal blog while it was up (sadly it's gone now).

2) TasteSpotting - this is not a blog per se, but rather it aggregates a bunch of submissions from various foodblogs in one totally fucking awesome hub. It is kind of dangerous because I tend to get engrossed in it and spend an hour looking at delicious food and then wanting to eat some delicious gourmet shit but just end up with a bagel.

3) The Crepes of Wrath - I really like this one because the stuff she cooks is like, top-notch comfort food. It all sounds like stuff that a) I could cook and b) would be really satisfying. And not to mention it has a ton of crock pot recipes and Y'ALL KNOW HOW GUNG-HO I HAVE BEEN ABOUT CROCKPOTS LATELY.

this is the skin of a killer!!!

Alright, all y'all make fun of me enough for the dumb shit I like, and I am not saying it isn't warranted (except for all the House Hunters I watch because that is just good planning for the future alright), so I am just going to cut you off at the pass and talk about Twilight.

Number one, I am sorry, Mary, that I am dumb and didn't remember what day your birthday was, and that I had to go see a midnight showing of Days of our Sparkly Vampiric Lives but OH MY GOD you guys IT IS SO RIDICULOUS.

Here is the thing about the whole Twilight phenom: I didn't read the books until just recently. I had been perusing a couple blogs that mocked them at great length and was equal parts offended and enthralled by it. I kept verbally shitting over it hard enough that eventually my cousin, who digs them a lot and without any facetiousness (she is a fan whereas I am sort of a lolfan; I love it mostly just to lol at it) said "YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ THEM OH MY GOD." Alright, fine, I'll read them! JUST TO SHOW YOU.

Basically all this did was multiply my initial feelings sevenfold. It is SO BAD and REALLY OFFENSIVE ON SO MANY LEVELS - intellectual, feminist, literary - but GOD HELP ME I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN. Maybe I won't get into a too-deep primer because I already suspect that no one who reads this besides me gives a hoot, but just in case you want to go more in depth (I ASSURE YOU THAT YOU DO), this wiki is good (and appropriately snarky).

The jist is: Bella moves to forks Bella is awkward and yet every boy falls in love with her including dark brooding vampire Edward who, along with his vampire family, only eat animals and not people because they have morals or something, blah blah there is angst about whether they can be together and also I guess there is some action involving bad vampires who want to eat Bella beause I guess the author realized that sometimes plot is worthwhile. That is just the first book, it goes on and on and becomes exponentially more absurd by the time you get to the fourth and final book.

I guess here is my abbreviated list of why it is so bad and yet why I have such a horrible, masochistic fondness for it:

1) I am sucker for terriblarious repetitious dialogue, and the book is like Stephenie Meyer got drunk with a thesaurus almost all the time. Every is "brooding" and "chagrined" and "windswept" and "irrevocably in love" with someone ALL THE TIME.

2) THE VAMPIRES CAN'T GO OUT IN THE SUN BECAUSE THEY WILL LITERALLY SPARKLE LIKE DIAMONDS I am not making that up.

3) Book 4 includes: appropriately chaste post-marital vampire-human sexing; a subsequent pregnancy with a half-vampire fetus that comes to term in a month; and said fetus BREAKING ITS MOTHERS SPINE AND RIBS FROM THE INSIDE OUT and then Edward, the vampire-daddy, BITING THE BABY OUT OF BELLA'S ABDOMEN WITH HIS TEETH WHILE SHE VOMITS A FOUNTAIN OF BLOOD.

4) There is also this hilarious love triangle with a Native American werewolf, Jacob, and Edward and Bella. Jacob is all in love with Bella, but her "WHOLE WORLD" is Edward (since he has been like, sneaking into her room to watch her sleep since about a WEEK AFTER THEY MET because THAT IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE I GUESS) and he gets rejected and butt-hurt.

BUT THEN, it turns out werewolves can IMPRINT on people, where that person becomes their entire reason for existing, and the imprintee basically has no voice in the matter because you "can't resist" such a powerful love or something retarded like that. One of the werewolf lackeys imprints on a two-year-old (IT'S NOT SEXUAL OKAY HE WILL JUST TAKE CARE OF HER UNTIL SHE IS HIS AGE [THE WEREWOLVES DON'T AGE]). Anyway Jacob apparently never loved Bella, just one of her eggs, because as soon as the half-vampire baby is mouth-Cesareaned out of her, HE IMPRINTS ON IT. Also it is named Renesmee. You know. As a combination of her grandmother's names (Renee and Esme). ~beautiful~.


It is so bad, and yet it is so good. I couldn't stop laughing while I read it (because I might have had to hunt the author down if I started taking it seriously), and the movie just improved on it so much -- it was appropriately mockable, but at just the right frequency. Not to the extent where it would have been unbearable, just to the point where it was PERFECT.

Amadou and Mariam

Apparently we don't know about too many international super-groups here. I just learned about this song called "Sabali", produced by Damon Albarn (Blur, Gorillaz, Good t Bad a t Queen). I like the buildup in the song as well as all the pictures of comfortable chairs.

DOUBLE POST

i can say with absolute certainty that scientists don't like movies. 

you might ask "come on now, ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY?"  and i would answer, "yes."

this is because all people who like movies have seen and loved jurassic park. even though movie-lovers love jurassic park, none of them love it enough to reenact it. everyone knows you don't clone dead animals, especially big dead animals. 

these scientists think they can clone MAMMOTH dead animals. therefore, they don't like movies. 

MORE CRAZY SCIENTISTS!

SECOND POST (unrelated)

This woman was arrested for "impeding traffic and chasing children." the report also notes that she was "on a drinking binge."

that sounds like a recipe for some terrified kids to me. 

i got snacks on snacks.

"if he could just do small things to his shit like his kitchen and his bathroom, he'd have women everywhere, dropping vagina panties all over the place."

but fuck that shit, fuck that shit.

Crazy Video

Mal posted this on my facebook wall and it's absolutely crazy. Check it out.

http://tapespace.com/view/Amazing_Wall_Animation

Good stuff.

It's just like a mini-mall!

hey obama you so fine you so fine you blow my mind heyobama

mission accomplished!

SPACE!

If you would please direct your attention to the link above, you can see that we have recently completed our mission to mars, or as the science dudes at NASA so endearingly call it, "the red planet."

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am so sick of martians. What a snobby culture. 

The article proposes some hopes of the science dudes:

"The project team will be listening carefully during the next few weeks to hear if Phoenix revives and phones home."

To that I say, don't get your hopes up, Houston. Don't you know this is paste week?

One thing they did get right though was when they said:

"Phoenix has given us some surprises, and I'm confident we will be pulling more gems from this trove of data for years to come."

Calling All Ragers - It's Rage O'Clock

Holy god, what a rage week that was. I cannot believe we made it twelve days this time. This semester's week took a lot out of me, as evidenced by the fact that I found myself hammered and trying to write a paper at 8 this morning because Andy, Kevin and I went and raged in Detroit until 2:30 last night. In addition to the extra days of rage, my ipod was stolen and I broke my phone, spent way too much money and probably threw a few too many things in the street. I also hit Andy in the face while raging with rock stars. I have been infected with the rage virus, and it's time to clean up my act until Wednesday or Thursday or whatever. I would like to use two photos to convey what Rage Week has done to me:

Life before Rage Week (10/28/2008)

Life at the end of Rage Week (11/10/2008)

To the average person this juxtaposition would suggest that something went wrong; but it went perfectly. Congratulations, guys - we did it again.

Unregistered Panda Votes Three Times in Tuesday's Election

All I'm sayin' is he should have registered.

As most of you know, I am not too pleased by the fact that I am graduating in a month, but this has encouraged me to embrace many things that are easily taken for granted, such as rage week and just hanging out with people as much as I can. Given that, most of the time I spend not raging or interacting with pals consists of daydreaming. My mind has been wandering more this semester than ever before, but I think it's just because I am overwhelmed with how fortunate people like us are. When it comes down to it, the biggest wrench in my works is the occasional bicycle parked in a place I disapprove of.

I had conversations with a few people this weekend after I saw a Southeastern Asian couple collecting cans at the tennis courts during tailgate on Saturday, because for some reason they really struck me a lot harder than the usual underprivileged family collecting our trash. Between class and the media lately, the commonly sought intangible of the American Dream keeps being tossed around, and I cannot help but to dwell on it all the time. When I saw that couple wandering around amidst hundreds of drunk, soon-to-be young professionals, all I could wonder is what brought that couple here? What were they seeking that they thought they could find here, only to end up cleaning up after a higher social class? To see my empties turn into someone's livelihood is an undeniably humbling experience, especially when you have a face to attach to it. Every now and then the can collectors are dancing around and having a seemingly good time, but this couple just looked different - very intent on their work, trying to make the most for themselves and possibly others. Even though we are capable of recognizing these class differences, the fact of the matter is that it really doesn't change us. I would never argue for a classless society because I believe in the importance of differing social classes, but these moments are something I think we ought to enjoy for ourselves more than we might sometimes.

For me, being human, of course I feel sorry for people like that couple; it's easy for us to feel that way since we are sitting comfortably on the top. At the same time, though, it makes me wonder what they must feel toward us. Envy? Disgust? Anger? Who knows? They were just there to pick up enough garbage to eat or maybe pay rent if they can afford a place to live. And there I was last spring collecting cans so I could go to Mexico and Europe to rage with some of my best friends. It makes me so happy to be able to do these things, but it also makes me glad for all of my friends because they can, too.

So, to wrap this all up, tomorrow is Election Day and I can't help but to feel that this American Dream is a reality for some, but for so many others it is only a myth. I can recognize these differences, but it doesn't slow me down in my pursuit of success. I have everything I would ever want or need, but I still want more, because that's what I have to do. I have to find a job so I can make money and do and have the things I want. I am about to graduate from a respectable university, I can vote in the election tomorrow, and I can look forward to the weekends when I can afford to drink with my friends. The point is, I am glad you guys are here with me and that we were all fortunate enough to be born into the families we have. The Asian couple didn't look that fun, anyways. All this country is is working to be a part of the drunken student mob. How silly it is that we transition from drunken student to professionals overnight.

I just like to realize how apparently perfect everything is every now and then.

It's good to be on the top. So, so good.

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!!!

Appears to be a popular video, so some may have seen it already. This will not disappoint.

My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.

Can we do this when I get back?

please?

Just replace "D" with "Phoenix House"

Found: Hilarious Montage

I've been attempting to find this since I saw it on TV in Dublin this summer. Start watching at 3 minutes and in a few seconds you'll find a hilarious montage. Gimme gimme more

Chosen oNe.

I am here to make new friends. I hope this works.

www.ruinedphotos.com

Thats all folks.

Quiz

Q: Which country is too big?

A: Russia

I can assume you all got that correct. If not, we need to chat.


In other news, this is a neat picture. Perhaps some of you have heard of Banksy before, but if not, he's a graffiti/stencil artist in England. I wanted to buy some this summer when I was there but I missed two flights on my way over and I didn't have the cash for anything but rage supplies. Look the stuff up - it's pretty clever and equally jawesome.

i'm not here to make friends

Some things to chew on this Thursday

Now that it has started to get cold out, we are all bracing ourselves for vodka weather. Well it's a good thing it's only October, and only 2008 for that matter. There is still plenty of time for it to get colder. When Putin and the Russians take over the world in 2012, it's going to be vodka weather all the time. That means it is going to be cold everywhere, always. Mars is also cold, but it is not very Russian... yet. Also, this calf has two heads.

Little Joy, well named band produce well produced tunes

All right, the strokes arent getting back together until 2009, but another one of everyones favorite new york city rock and roller fab five got another side project out. I'm real excited about this one, as it involves drummer fab morretti's brazilian shit. Last year I dappled in brazilian tunes from the likes of ceantano veloso and gilberto gil, and this stuffs kind of got some strokes simplicity right alongside that bossanova feel... From what I can tell from the first three songs, oh man oh man its lookin good. I'll be seeing these guys in Detroit on November 9th, bout to get crunk. Here's a taste of goodness thanks to youtube.

remember al tv? probably not.

Принцип наиболее благоприятствуемой нации

Putin is going to kill all of the Icelandic people and repopulate the island with land dolphins.

i got yo crazy

womanizer woman womanizer you're a womanizer oh you're a womanizer oh baby

Issues to Ponder

As of late, there have been two things that I just can't stop thinking about:

1. Thanks to Iceland, Russia is coming.
2. The colonization and terraformation of Mars.

Since Iceland's financial fuck up, and the inevitable Russian loan, it appears that the geothermal resort-turned-nation is about to play host to the increasingly aggressive Russians, right here in the West. I never expected Iceland to turn on us for their 'new friend,' Russia. I thought, how are we going to be able to stand up to Russia if it has an outpost so deep in the West? Then, I remembered how at their nearest point, just 4km separate Alaska from Russia, closer than Florida is to Cuba which, clearly, is also closer than Iceland is to the States. As we all know now, Sarah Palin has been fighting the Russians since before she became governor, so we might want to reconsider who we vote for, so that the whole country can combat the Russians just as well. We need her expertise in order to make certain that we can resist Russian aggression on the Eastern frontier of the country. So, here is the deal: If you don't want Iceland to team up with Russia in a fight against all that is good in the world, vote for McCain and Palin. Iceland has always been a threat -- Bjork is evidence enough. I guess we can wear those Russian ushankas, though. I do like them. Anyhow, don't let the Icelandic dream come to fruition. We can't afford to. But, if we do, at least we have an escape route, which is where my second issue comes into play.

Let me just throw this out there: I cannot wait to live on Mars. The photo in this post is what Mars could look like if we go through with the terraforming process. This would be like a whole new opportunity to be an explorer, which is actually my dream career. Too bad there is no exploring left to be done here on Earth. It doesn't sound that hard, and at this point, the journey there is nine months. Everyone loves road trips, so who wouldn't love a nine-month one? We all know that those on Mars would be the best and the brightest. They have already sent some thing called Phoenix up there, so we all know we made the cut. Congratulations, everyone - we're going to take over the universe. 3-2-1 chicken blastoff to Mars.

See you there, and you can thank Iceland for expediting this process.

I love this girl!

Yeah

So good

Welcome to the no spin zone!

Barcelona

Just three guys raising a family in San Francisco in the 90's...

"Everywhere You Look" written and sung by Jesse Frederick

Click here to listen to theme song

What ever happened to predictibility? 
The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV.

Everywhere you look , everywhere you go (there's a heart). 
There's a heart 
A hand to hold onto.

Everywhere you look , everywhere you go. 
There's a face 
Of somebody who needs you.

Eveywhere you look, 
When you're lost out there and you're all alone, 
A light is waiting to carry you home, 
Everywhere you look. 
Everywhere you look.

discovery of gay babies raises concern

You can thank our Biggest friend for sending this site our way. Entertainment at the expense of children - I can't think of anything better.

gaybabies.com

kittens' mother shows true colors

It's Tuesday and that means I don't have class or work, so I spend the day being a detective. Today's case revolved around our newest roommates: Bruce and his hos. I searched the interweb in an attempt to locate their mother, and I think I did. The photo is of her slutting it up in the trees. She's so popular that the other cats have to queue in order to get their paws on her. Now her kittens are living in the bathroom in the Digestion Lounge. Some mother...

Charles Barkley For The Win

Mr. Barkley has funny things to say.

http://www.viperalley.com/forum/anything-goes/68852-charles-barkleys-top-50-a.html

absolutely horrible

http://dailydeadpuppy.tumblr.com/

i think kitten tits once said, "oh fuck that!"
this website captures that phrase completely.
man alive, what a horrible site.

Este Es Comico

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

can't stop making animated gifs

http://piterwilson-toys.com/wcsmt/maker.html

Can't stop send help please.

decently funny

warthog attack?

Sorry

To the girl I sat next to in ISP. Brittni? I think it was Brittni. For future reference, it is spelled "packaging." Here are some ways that it is NOT spelled, that you tried:

Paketging.
Packeding.
Paketdging.
Paceding.

I didn't tell you at the time because I thought it was funny. I'm sorry, because now you will probably never know. I have done you wrong. My b.

Sign Us Up For The Army

http://view.break.com/563236 - Watch more free videos

Do you need revenge?

Have an ex-girlfriend? Want to get back at her for being a cheating bitch?
Have an exboyfriend? Want to get back at him for being a soul-less shell of a human, someone so lowly only his mother could ever love him; what a prick, god, I swear off men forever!

Well Now You Can!

www.revengecrabs.com

Its as good as it sounds.

chicken blast blastoff

Yo.

Check out your fellow Phoenicians newest creation.
The sensation that's about to sweep the nation. Chicken Blast.

chickenblast.wordpress.com

DREAM SHOTTT!!!!

The new hotness at Phoenix Haus is Dream shot basketball. When the ball goes in from the sidewalk, you immediately join the rank of the Dreamy Ladies Dream Shot basketball team, and all the dreams you might ever conceive are met. Really consider being a part of this.

Yeah for Fairies!

Nice Shirt

whoopsie doodle

No big deal.

Paddington Pig

I think I am taking the lead away from Ashley in terms of high rates of posting, but I just located this photo on the interweb. It was in the free newspaper I would grab on my way to work every day in Dublin this summer, and I clipped the photo out and put it on my refrigerator for the duration of the summer. In the bitterest of barns, one look at the photo (in the paper titled, 'Paddington Pig") would raze said barn instantly. I was going to wait until I got back to the Haus to share the little guy, but I simply couldn't wait. In the paper, it was just the photo, so I was happy to find not only additional photos, but also an informative article. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. I will save "Hippo Hippo Hurray" and "Rock and Roll Panda-monium" for later, though.

CHINA: SCUM OF THE OLYMPICS, POSSIBLY THE WORLD

The last few nights I have been watching the Olympics, and I generally enjoy the gymnastics part of the summer games because it's neat to watch people do tricks. I don't know if many of you have been watching this, but the Chinese women's team should actually be called the Chinese-gymnastics-daycare-competing-in-the-Olympics team. They have to be sixteen to compete, but the sleazy Chinese government has magically turned what appears to be a twelve-year-old into a cheating "sixteen-year-old" megawhore cheater that is good at doing flips. SHE IS FOUR-AND-A-HALF FEET TALL AND WEIGHS 68 POUNDS. I mean, she is missing a tooth. Her teeth look too healthy to be rotting, so I think it is quite obvious that she is still losing her teeth. Chinese tooth fairy knows that they are cheating, but I heard the government put Chinese tooth fairy in a blender and made a protein shake to put in sippy cups for the gymnastics team during their midday snack time. Come on. It's so obvious that these girls wet the bed and throw temper tantrums. Bright purple glittery face doesn't make them look older. I'm surprised they weren't pushed out in strollers when they went into the arena. Jeez, girls, take out your pacifiers and go bounce around on the springy things with chalk all over yourselves. The government is going to steal their medals anyhow. I heard China thinks gold is a better source of fuel than their modern, environmentally-safe coal factories. Good thing the toddlers beat the Americans because I heard they were going to start burning kids soon.

I'm pissed. The Chinese government stole the Americans' gold medal. Worst hosts ever. I hope a dragon eats China and shits a big pile of justice.

HI, MY NAME IS SANDRA LEE AND I MAKE THE WORST SHIT IN THE WORLD. OK, I'M GOING TO PUT THIS BANANA ON A STICK AND ROLL IT IN GRAVY. THEN I'M GOING TO DUMP SEASONING PACKETS AND SPRINKLES ALL OVER EVERYTHING. COCKTAIL TIME! OH MY GOD I LOVE CANDY APPLES. LET'S COOK OUTSIDE BECAUSE IT'S VALENTINES DAY! MY TABLESCAPE IS COVERED IN SHIT BUT THESE GIANT FLOWER POTS IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING MAKE IT ALL OK. SORRY ABOUT THE CONFETTI ON YOUR PLATE, BUT TRUST ME, IT WILL MAKE YOUR FOOD TASTE BETTER BECAUSE MY DECORATIONS ARE SO UNPRACTICAL. I MIXED THESE POTATOES WITH BLUE FROSTING BECAUSE IT LOOKS TACKY AND DOESN'T TASTE GOOD! HOW DID I GET MY OWN TV SHOW WHEN I SUCK SO FUCKING HARD?!!?!!

Insane-O Phoenix Dream World

Hey, I know I've been posting a lot lately, but this is good stuff. I have been having crazy dreams, most of them featuring Phonecians. One of them showcased Sam T. Remember when we did that photo shoot for your resume head shot? Well in this dream you were in a real live pro photo shoot. You kept having to change into hilariously high fashion outfits and you had a shit load of high fashion demands. For one, you kept insisting that there were supposed to be deadly animals in the shoot, and you were really pissed that they didn't get the cobras you had requested. Lol, also you wanted mountain water from Nepal that had to be carried down from by a sherpa on a yak. You said this in a little kid, whiney voice for some reason, which was priceless.

The other one, which I will never ever be able to fully translate into words because it was so batshit was about Alex Ticu. I had flown to some seemingly South American country to visit you. I wish that I could discribe this city that we were in, it was like an old timey Amazon city carved out of the jungle, on mushrooms (the drug not the actual fungus). The buildings were like campus buildings but reddish and slightly decomposing and covered with a thin layer of moss. Everything was extremely tall. We were walking around and we went into the back door of your house. There were a lot of people there, all wearing silly things. There was a lot of tension in the house about something and everyone was acting really weird. Like, just not reacting in reasonable ways to eachother. It was odd. So we left to walk around this place and there was sort of a fade in the dream to us walking back to the front of the place . I was still carrying all of my luggage and a huge stuffed Peter Rabbit. As we got to the place I saw that it was an insane asylum. You looked at me and said something to the effect of "oh, by the way, I live at an insane asylum." Very matter of fact. It wasn't like you were crazy or committed or anything, you just decided to live there, and it didn't really phase me for some reason. So we're about to go in and this guy in a red velvet jacket and a sort of sensible mad hatter hat with a gigante handlebar mustache (sort of ringmaster meets fear and loathing) comes over and you get really nervous. You tell me he's basically the mayor. He comes over and welcomes me to the city and tells me I have to join his party (political) right away. I ask if I can put down the Peter Rabbit. That's where I wake up.

Apparantly you guys have been on the brain. Miss you Phoenix. Can't wait to get back.

Come on man.

I am fucking pissed off at John Edwards.  We're fighting right now.  He should have been the next vice president, a great vice president, but noooooo.  He had to go and fuck it up.  Way to pull a Giuliani, cockbag.  

David the Gnome

This was my favorite cartoon as a kid. Did anyone else ever watch it? The song is almost too good.

Gin Lane?

While I appreciate the spirit, I'm not so sure that Gin Lane truly captures the chutzpah of the Phoenix Haus blog.  I've got to do it, I put it to a vote.  Yay or Nay folks.  Change it back to Phoenix Haus, or keep Gin Lane.  Vote or Die bitches.

Adorable Stuff

Maybe I'm out of the loop, but I hadn't seen this video until today.  I can't believe how adorable this is.

Lion Reunion

I never wikipedia-ed Phoenix House...

but when I did, I had a good laugh. Check it check it!

the best nap of my life

I was going to sleep while thinking of sandy beaches where you can watch the sun set and the moon rise while the sweet water pushes in and out with the tide. Sleeping by the fire, black and milds, playing golf. Being young together and holding our own and getting high. Pine trees and backyard fires and beat up highways that go everywhere. The smell of summer, the smell of dirt and grime and oil and a greasy burrito in the middle of the night. Driving by the bakery at 3 in the morning just for the smell of it. Summertime girls and a swimming pool while songs played and we grinned and drank wine high into the summer night. And not having to be anywhere but knowing breakfast will be cooking. Comfort in not having to be anywhere but where you are. Lickity-split for twilight chocolate malts on the banks of the old Grand River. Parties where no one cares who you are, how much money you have, or what kind of car you drive, as long as you're willing to get down. Getting dirty and fireflies, falling asleep beneath the buzzing of the midwest summer night. And then I dreamt of every friend I've ever had, every girl I've ever loved, and every memory summer in Michigan has handed me. Sometimes you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

Dear Haus,

I think we need to make a trip to Cedar Point this fall. I have been spending a lot of time on the Cedar Point website lately and it has been a few years since I've been there, and I need to go soon. So, I thought, who better to go with than you guys. Maybe Halloweekends would be a good time to go, I don't know. I don't think I really need to sell this idea, because who loves Cedar Point? I know I do, and you do, too!

Furthermore, I propose a fall PhoenixPhest, similar to that fine April day that was just a short time ago. Now that we are familiar with our events venues, we can make it a bigger and better event? Maybe a way to kick off Rage Week. My mind has been wandering a lot lately and I have been getting very excited to move back in and have a ragetastic semester.

Giddy up,

Sam

I saw this on postsecret today and I liked it. I think our shoppers ought to consider this when at the grocery stores...

Mosley wins court case over orgy

World motorsport boss Max Mosley has won a legal action against a Sunday newspaper that claimed he took part in a Nazi-style orgy with prostitutes.

The High Court ruled the News of the World did breach Mr Mosley's privacy, awarding him £60,000 in damages.

The 68-year-old admitted a consensual sadomasochistic sex session with five prostitutes at a London flat in March, but denied that it had a Nazi theme.

The paper's story was based on a secret video from one of the women.

At the High Court, Mr Justice Eady did not make the unprecedented award of punitive exemplary damages that had been sought by Mr Mosley.

Mr Mosley is president of the International Automobile Federation (FIA), the governing body for sports such as Formula 1.

He is also the son of the 1930s Fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley.