Toy Story 3?

Yes, it is set for release in June of 2010. I had no idea, but after seeing them again I realized how much I missed these guys. Here is an enjoyable advertisement.

MORE WKUK

I LOVE WKUK

A preview (NOW WITH AMENDMENTS!!!)

TOPICS OF THREE RANTS I HOPE TO DELIVER THIS SUMMER THAT HAVE NOT ALREADY BEEN RANTED (THOUGH SANDRA LEE WILL PROBABLY EARN ANOTHER RANT, PERHAPS HER OWN BLOG):

1. Zach Braff
2. Human Resources
3. Belarus: the new Russia


AMENDMENT 1

I don't even know how many people look at this thing anymore, but at risk of having too many consecutive posts, I decided to amend my most recent post. This is an assignment for any and/or all of you who are still in East Lansing. I have broken it into steps:

-Go to Charlie Kang's for lunch [INSTANT TOP SCORE!]
-Look at the moving(?) picture in the northwest corner of the dining area.
-Determine if it is this photo...
-Report findings

I was simply searching for a nice picture of Neverland, and after finally sorting through the overly abundant supply of photos showing Michael Jackson standing next to a huge gate, this one popped up. I am almost certain that this is part of the decor, but I need to have confirmation. In the meantime, I will continue to pine over my lost Asian love.

AMENDMENT 2

I encourage everyone to try to go back in time to a house dinner in the spring of '08, when a conversation was had regarding the questionable existence of the Women's Lounge in the Union. Outraged, Ashley retorted, "EVERYWHERE'S THE MEN'S LOUNGE!" She was right, and failblog provides evidence:
Win.

Sick of Wikipedia?

Then check out Dickipedia

URGENT!

watch this! graffiti animation.

Substitute Teaching: Memories

Since I started this whole substitute teaching phase, there have been many enjoyable moments. Sometimes, when I think about how ridiculous it is that I, of all people, am occasionally cultivating the future, I laugh at myself. Among the more entertaining moments as of late happened this past Friday. I was standing in as a 1st grade teacher, and after battling with the children to understand that it was cloudy outside, we did the Pledge of Allegiance. Not only did I feel like I was in charge of a little army of American soldier-zombies, but I started laughing at my army when they faded right into singing "This land is your land, this land is my land..." and you know the rest. I couldn't help but to just start cracking up. I felt badly because I think some of them thought I was laughing at them, but I was really just thinking, "This is my life."

The Wrong News

His name is Mr. Charles Rennie, and he is an awesome teacher.

butter, y'all

Finally, a worthy memorial to Paula Deen.

SANDRA LEE IS A DRUNKEN CHRISTMAS WHORE

Yes, it's time for another one of these. Sandra Lee has pissed me off for so many years that I am occasionally surprised that I can still get so riled up when I watch Semi-Homemade Cooking. I don't even really intend to watch it, but when she looks like a goddamned pit crew member next to a racing track, of course I'm going to take the half-hour out of my day to find out what shit she will mix with other shit to make one bigger pile of shit. So, you might ask, what did Sob-Story Sandra come up with at the race track? Gasoline burgers with corn wrapped in Beggin' Strips, with some flaky butter paste goo, coursely smeared on one-fifth of the corn's surface area. Yes, this explosive meal is what happens when you go from fucking Kurtain Kare with Mrs. Brady to a show about making canned soup that looks like it's filmed inside of a giant faberge egg. For some godforsaken reason, Sandra thinks everyone is just itching to throw a gaudy themed party-bash with cocktails made of straight sugar and booze. Maybe a Kool-Aid packet or some jello mix on the side. After seeing so many of these horrible tablescapes and pastel-colored drinks full of vodkar, I am beginning to wonder: "Sam, is it time for a party like one of these? Could Sandra actually be on to something here? Where's the whiskey?"



The answer, clearly, is no. Absolutely not. And I don't know where the whiskey is. By no means am I going to eat dinner with a four-foot tall pile of nutcrackers forming a skyline on the dining room table. This is plainly and simply so, so fucking retarded, that I can't even imagine how she comes up with these gags. It seems like she must just get drunk, hop in her car and cruise on down to Michaels to fill a shopping cart with an entire aisle's worth of holiday-themed craft components, with no care in the world as to WHETHER OR NOT THE TABLE ACTUALLY HAS ROOM FOR ALL OF THE JUNK.

Why on Earth would anyone be interested in making dinner in a Cher costume? Nothing is convenient about this. Instead, she just looks like some dick with a cooking show and too much food coloring at her disposal. Understand this, Sandra: THE ONLY THING THAT WILL EVER REQUIRE UP TO TEN DROPS OF FOOD COLORING IS TECHNICOLOR PASTAR. She would never make that, though, because it was more than 30% homemade:



Yes, I can believe it's Sandra Lee. Why? Because only Sandra Lee would act as if using a FRESH lemon somehow makes the meringue more snazzy. And here's another shocker: Sandra is now a spokesperson for KFC.



So, you're "the Colonel's Girl"? Of course you love their chicken. I can't wait until the episode airs when she has decided to have a KFC tablescape and everything she makes uses KFC chicken as a building block. Now don't get me wrong here -- I love KFC when the time is right, but I also understand that it is what it is. It is chicken that I am perfectly OK with purchasing in bulk for $13 or whatever, only to wander around, handing it out to people who will just walk half of a block down the street and drop it in the bushes in front of a sorority. This is fine, because it is a grease sponge, and sometimes I want to eat that. But no one should have a show on the Food Network and be off giggle-talking on the side about how much they love KFC's chicken. Unacceptable. Bottom score.

More good news! Sandra Lee has a new show premiering soon, to be called "Sandra's Money Saving Meals." I don't know about you, but I cannot wait to watch her wander up and down the frozen food aisle for thirty minutes. God save the Queen.

Superheros are Real!

world superhero registry

My favorite is angle grinder man. He takes boots off cars.