greetings from munich town

dearest p haus,

so here i sit stealin internet at starbucks the famous coffee from seattle, and im here working for eddie bauer the famous clothing manufacturer from seattle. i also know a guy whos goin to seattle. where i live i have no internet and no microwave and no young people anywhere around, but somehow i survive. there's this neighborhood called Schwabing i want to live but can't because there's no openings. i went there yesterday and every light post had a lil' wayne carter III promo sticker attached and everywhere i looked was pretty girls on bikes and hipster musik clubs. i was like omg. im pretty far away from there but i think that's probably where i'll be spending my weekends. i miss the p house youth. i know one other american guy here. his names jeff and he likes beer and heavy metal a lot. i think we're going to drink a lot of beer this summer.

at my work there's this really sweet coffee machine. i admit that sounds like a very intern thing to say but i really dig this coffee machine. you put this little teabag-lookin coffee-bag in there press the button and you've got yourself a nice hot cup of tasty goodness. interesting thing, germany doesn't have air conditioning and its humid and 90 degrees F or 30 degrees C. open the window. close the window. repeat. people are ridiculously environmentally conscious over here with their no ac, public transport, five different kinds of trash cans etc.

i usually avoid the star bucks machine but the internet ties me here. theres enough other stuff to let me forget i'm in an american establishment. to my left is a beer garden and the hofgarten, to my right the odeonplatz(see picture). oh there goes a girl with a drum, and a dog, and old men playin petanque. i wish you were all here to enjoy a maß with me. i'm lazy with postcards but you'll see one soon. miss you love you see you soon,

Kevin

i love hot magma

I don't know why but this commercial warms my bitter, shriveled heart SO HARD.



Am I the only one y/n?

KFC Found

I hope everyone is finding plenty of people eating fried chicken throughout the summer so we can create our website and eventually secure the book deal. I have successfully located one of hopefully many KFCs in Dublin. Soon enough I will purchase a family bucket of sorts and take it about the city, finding the perfect photos. Don't forget your assignment, everyone. When fall semester rolls around, I expect a solid compilation of fried chicken photos. I expect nothing but success. If you fail, I will burn every bike in our house, in addition to killing every pet, save Murphy. Fabio will be recollected and eaten, even though he isn't living there. Fuck off.

Eat a dick.

Titze

5 Hour Fuckfest

I have to share this with you guys. Enjoy. I was baking when i came across this article.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_roommate_hopes_five_hour?
utm_source=College%20Humor&utm_medium=Trade

take the space out of the address

I got bored so i painted all the rooms red.

Twas the night before paste week in dear phoenix haus
The party was raging there wasn’t a doubt.
Blake’s nuts were hung from his gold thong with care
Our house guests were shocked, and couldn’t help but stare.

KT’s was dancing atop of our couch
Peaches was so loud the police had to come out
Good thing the house gang took care of those cops
Yo DJ Sam, let that mutherfucking beat drop

You know all the homies walk these fuckin halls wasted
Take for instance sam t he’s always shitfaceted
Wakin up at 4 am you know he’s gotta take a leak
With no toilet in the room he’s gotta use sam’s sheets

Thank god he didn’t have the nerve to disturb the king
TJ loves that bedding spread, he’s the essence OF bling.
Don’t get me started on these crazy house hook-ups
You want me to name names “bitch shut the fuck up”

Hook: Go Phoenix Thats My Phoenix x2

This house is always bursting at the mutherfukin seams
Weed Coke Shrooms, the makings of wet dreams
Starting at midnight, the adventure begins
A trip across campus, a night full of sins.

If your looking for the party you can find it in 18
Ben and Blake’s room is the motherfucking scene.
Step in to the kitchen for a dose of domination
Bagels Turkey Eggs, try any combination.

Hook

Bru thought sam was gay
He caught her rolling in the hay
Second semester biggest came to town
Heidi was around, but could never be found

Nate walks the halls singing like he’s cupid
Warm weather rolls around, we all get slightly stoopid
Field Day MVP you know it was that Nadzy
Biggest losers of the day: Lauren and Smashley


Hook

Hope your not hungry haap theres nothing for you to eat
Consider trying Dawkins’ cat, the dankest of the meat.
Pour a 40 for our homies, forever in a heart
You’re always on our minds though your miles apart.

Mal Therese and Evan round out the basement crew
Go out to parties you know just what we’ll do
Stand in a circle call their party lame
Start USA chant Now say our fucking name

Hook

Fampo Spampo Space Jam Our parties off the chain
“what about rent party?” bitch that shit was fuckin’ lame.
Comin home at 2 AM the Dance Party Is jumpin
KP and Ivy in the kitchen music bumpin

If you’re not lookin to dance, cats I’ll give you the scoop
You’ll find Slim Chuck and Kevin smoking on the stoop
three nights a week this house is hot without a doubt
After 10 PM Lizzy and Hannah will be blackout.

Don’t forget the fuss about the bikes in the hall.
Ticu and BMurph are the two you gotta call.
Strap on the rollerblades and hike the shorts skyhigh,
Scottie Cornbread will give you loving bonafied

HOOK!

The best year of my life, phoenix is my home
Memories from all of you cemented in my dome
Now the time has come to leave and don’t it really suck
One piece of advice, don’t get 2 d 2 f

Lost Keys

Has anyone seen my keys? I lost them the night before most people moved out of the house, they could be anywhere. Someone (or their parents) might have packed them away etc. If you come across 4 keys, a chevrolet remote lock, and a green buckle, they belong to Scott P, and he would love to have them back.
Piece Out.
I go through like 19 40s a night pouring them for my lost homies.

dear phoenix haus,

other than the part about the puerto rican girls, i think the stones put it best . . . 

No videogames for a whole weekend.

Yo Homies dis shit be off da chain. Its fun to do hood rat things with my friends.