Forget about everything you felt was important to you

And so it begins...

Story of my Life

I was at da dog on a stick gettin some grub when da lady was like tryin to overcharge ma shih. I was like "Whaddafuh dat be fo?" all loud an shih an den she was like "that's the total sir" an I was like "Sir!? Why you creppin shiznit?" So I took da fries an straight up mashed em into da chalk board menu so it would be all greasy an hard to write on it an shih. She got all up in ma ma bizness bout it so I was like "YO BAYAM!" an slammed ma corndog onto da regista - den I was like "PAYOW" an straight up knocked over the lemonade maka! Den she was all scared an shih an ran to da back so I didn't haves to pay fo shih! Dats some crazy ass gangsta shih mutha fucka!

Any hustlers in the party, y'all?

My style can't be duplicated or recycled, this chick is a sick individual! Sick tape, vol. 2. Believe it! Ho... ho... let me switch up the game. I drink that cognac, step back cuz I might put it on ya. I go deep so deep til you sleep, count sheep wake you from fucking all week. Don't want me have to show ya how freak bitch act when I ain't sober. What up, I'm toe up, sho nuff, I ain't scared to take it off (tell the freak to take it off!). Tipsy and I feel good (feel good), black dudes got big woods. Into, I do it, I dun it, if you really really want it then you need to stop frontin'. Boy you know I'm your type (your type), 5'2 and wear my jeans real tight. My curves they swerve so superb, my words, my word, and I came to slur. We run this (run this), we run this (run this), we run this (run this), oh, oh, oh! It don't matter where you from, it's where you at, and if you came to freak-a-leak, you better bring your hat. East coast, west coast, down south, represent your coast! Yeah, we run it, yeah, we run it, y'all don't want it, cuz my coast run it. Oh, we run this shit. We run this shit. Wanna pull my hair, break my back, put it right money might sit in ya lap. Back to back, you can't even keep track, it's a fact that freaks like to get slapped. Suck my toes and then a back rub, I don't come to do it, I just wanna be touched. Look at how y'all making me blush, got enough to go round so uhh don't push, wanna run that tush in a bush? Don't my diamonds look real good, and they shine so hard that it glitters. So many carats, they look like critters. And we can do it all night, take a flashlight, you can see up in my windpipe. I like to keep the nigga height, I wanna know, can you handle the might? We run this (run this), we run this (run this), we run this (run this), oh, oh, oh! It don't matter where you from, it's where you at, and if you came to freak-a-leak, you better bring your hat. East coast, west coast, down south, represent your coast! Yeah, we run it, yeah we run it, y'all don't want it, cuz my coast run it. Oh, we run this shit. We run this shit. Any hustlas in the party, y'all? (Hell yeah). If you's a pimp let me see you party hard. (Hell yeah). Oh strippers take your clothes off. (Hell yeah). Y'all superstarts, you don't need no bodyguards (hell yeah). I roll hard, a lot of rappers say I'm way too hard. Pull up in the club in a rental car, where the freaks at? Freaks at the bar where the hard drinks are. Don't start, you don't want beef, don't take it that far with a superstar. I got my foot on the clutch, see me bouncin' my butt. Misdemeanor too much and I don't give a fuck. We run this (we run this), we run this (we run this), we run this (we run this), oh, oh, oh! It don't matter where you from, it's where you at, and if you came to freak-a-leak, you better bring your hat. We run this (we run this), we run this (we run this), we run this (we run this), oh, oh, oh! Represent your coast and act like you know, know how to act before you step your two feet in the door.

Country music anyone?

You could call it a guilty pleasure. Should I enjoy listening to Ryan Adams? I guess the fact that I own five of his albums should qualify me as a fan. Each of his albums comes in a different flavor, each with about 2 or 3 songs I obsess over while I consider the rest throwbacks. He comes off neurotic and romantic, unafraid to play the music he wants. Respect. Seeing him live last fall solidified my opinion of Mr. Adams as a worthy artist...and he's produced Willy Nelson's latest album. Anyway, here are some of my favourites for your right click 'n' savin' pleasure!


Ryan Adams- Goodnight Rose
Ryan Adams- English Girls Approximately
Ryan Adams and the Cardinals- Peaceful Valley

The Idea Garden

I dream that Erykah Badu will move in and take over Dan's lease for the remainder of the semester. Maybe we will just have to wait until Obama wins and the country gets the soul infusion for Erykah to bring the funk. Erykah is so saucy, and it might be an accident.

Also, who stole the blue kudu. We have only grown four pets and one is already missing. How do you expect to grow a sponge safari if we keep misplacing kudus?!!?

warm thoughts for winter

Sunglasses on, freshly inhaled smoke in the lungs, and it's got to be about 90 degrees. I like driving down the two lane highway, past those new developments, away from the overbearing mini-mall shopping center and off to the Italian restaurant, where the other guys were already waiting. My car loves this weather as much as I do and together we run happily down the road. The car window's been open since May, and I've got that left arm tan.
"We'll sit outside," Dave decides as we get out of the car. My sandal had a little rock in it so I flung it off my foot across the parking lot. We're high in the afternoon sun.
We were the only ones sitting outside, and the waiter brought us some waters while we laughed and made plans for the rest of our evening. He looks like the bad guy from a James Bond movie, and he's quite possibly the finest waiter I've ever encountered. It's just too bad I don't give a shit about the specials.
We ordered and lit cigarettes. Some people can't stand the smell of cigarettes. Luckily for them, they also don't like sitting in beautiful weather. How can people complain about the weather all winter long, and then when the sun comes out they go hide in their air conditioning?
"Hey you guys want to have a fire at my house later?"
Jordan always has fires at his house, and that's a good thing too. You couldn't really ask for a better place to relax and be a little social during these summer months. A bottle of wine under the July sunset, laughter and song with your best friends. It didn't take long for us to decide. Yes all around, and here comes the food.

music festival/j-ing it

Two very important things.

1.  There is going to be a really good music festival in Rothbury, Michigan over 4th of July weekend.  It's four days of camping at the Double J ranch and seeing acts such as Snoop, DMB, Modest Mouse, Primus, 311, Gogol Bordello,  Zappa Plays Zappa, and a lot of the acts that are going to be at Bonnaroo.  I'll be there, and you should be too.  Early Bird tickets are $199 and they go on sale on the 27th.  

More info on the Rothbury Music Festival Here

2.  If you haven't seen The Whitest Kids U Know yet you are missing out on a real treat.  It's a sketch comedy show by the guys who did Collegehumor.com.  It feels a little bit like a less gay, more modern Kids in the Hall.  Here's one of my favorite sketches...

Slow Jerk

To find out more about the show and see more sketches check them out at the IFC site.

Party Tricks (...continued)

So... funny story.

Obviously i talk about Phoenix Haus all the time... one of my stories sank in... something to do with a hotdog and work.

My friend Erin was intrigued and we manipulated a baguette. 

Yeah Spain!

buy my love

It's simple! Check out the three-step process:

1. Go to the clinic.
2. Donate your plasma.
3. Give me the prize money!

Thanks,

Sam

blog fight!

bitches at raft think they're all that:

http://msu.coop/our_snow_fort_is_bigger_than_your_snow_fort

they best be ready for counter-retaliation a la blogosphere

Radiohead Tour Dates

Meet me on the first of July...

05-05 West Palm Beach, FL - Cruzan Amphitheatre
05-06 Tampa, FL - Ford Amphitheatre
05-08 Atlanta, GA - Lakewood Amphitheatre
05-09 Charlotte, NC - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
05-11 Bristow, VA - Nissan Pavilion at Stone Ridge
05-14 St. Louis, MO - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
05-17 Houston, TX - Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
05-18 Dallas, TX - Superpages.com Center
06-06 Dublin, Ireland - Malahide
06-07 Dublin, Ireland - Malahide
06-09 Paris, France - Bercy
06-10 Paris, France - Bercy
06-12 Barcelona, Spain - Parc del Fòrum
06-14 Nimes, France - Arenes
06-15 Nimes, France - Arenes
06-17 Milan, Italy - Civica Arena
06-18 Milan, Italy - Civica Arena
06-20 Neuhausen ob Eck, Germany - Southside Festival
06-22 Scheeßel, Germany - Hurricane Festival
06-24 London, England - Victoria Park
06-25 London, England - Victoria Park
06-27 Glasgow, Scotland - Glasgow Green
06-29 Manchester, England - Lancashire County Cricket Club
07-01 Amsterdam, Netherlands - Westerpark
07-03 Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07-04-05 Werchter, Belgium - Rock Werchter Festival
07-06 Arras, France - Main Square Festival
07-08 Berlin, Germany - Wuhlheide

BIGFOOT

 

vote or don't

THIS IS THE REAL ISSUE.

Spin your way to thin

am i normal? are you normal?

so, lately i've been asking myself a whole lot of questions.

luckily, my good friend riley sent me this video that answers some of them. 

maybe it can help you too. 

The sounds of NYC & Africa

I've been reading about this band, Vampire Weekend, for a few weeks now. These four Columbia- educated rock and rollers have been rolling in a bit of buzz (including an 8.8 from Pitchfork) but I'm not quite convinced if it's all well deserved or not. I read that they sounded like Paul Simon's Graceland and The Strokes' Is This It? in one record, so I immediately sought it out. They've definitely found something that is their own, not that I don't hear the rest of the New York City indie rock scene throughout, as well a few rhythms and melodies of Africa. It's all reminiscent of the hype the Strokes received before their debut release in 2001- the NYC rich kids with shaggy hair play simple songs with a striking uniqueness and personality (and everybody loves Paul Simon's Graceland). However, when I hear the music on this record, it begins to give me the same urge to listen to it over and over again just as I did when Is This It? came out. These guys are playing in Ann Arbor on February 12, so let me know if you're interested in going.

Always look on the bright side of life

phoenix of the day (part 6):

the uss phoenix.

Buzz

Hey Bloggers/Phoenicians

I think it's time to take this thing to the next level. We've proven that we're dedicated to bringing quality content to the blog. Now we have to get someone to read it other than ourselves. So here's the question... How can we create a buzz?? I think I'm going to start writing about it everywhere I can. Leaving it written on napkins at restaurants and in sidewalk chalk all over campus when it gets warm. But that's not enough. I propose a brain storming session after the house meeting tonight. It can replace the Children of the Ash meeting I suppose.

'Merican Gladiators

Here's your gladiator fix.

phoenix of the day (part 5):

the pontiac phoenix.

garfield finally funny.

it appears that garfield was funny all along, all you had to do was read the comic without reading garfield's voice bubbles.



poor, poor, depressed jon.

More Tingles.

Today's conversation has given new meaning to 'tingles.' Tingles are jimmies, which are sprinkles. This may not seem important at first read, but say it a few times. Things will change.

AWSOM 50

it is time to launch a new war. i have retrieved a list of abstract nouns. this is absolutely necessary in order to determine the idea we should fight. here is the list:

friendship	peace	infatuation	romance	humor
hate	liberty	love	charity	hope
faith	bravery	comfort	talent	memory
childhood	maturity	success	failure	law
adoration	feelings	humor	happiness	sadness
loyalty	joy	strictness	belief	pride
honesty	truth	sanity	sympathy	redemption
principle	thrill	wit	ego	power
skill	dexterity	artistry	sleep	compassion
calm	impression	sensitivity	omen	submission

i was thinking we should try to deconstruct notions of redemption or dexterity.

phoenix of the day (part 4):

phoenix (spacecraft).

phoenix of the day (part 3):

phoenix, az.

Technologitis

This is one of the best videos I've seen all year.  If you've ever wondered when technology is going to take over the world, or how long it will be before our minds are plugged into computers Matrix style here's an update.  Plus I really like the music.

The Machine is Us/ing Us

Dear Mrs. Callendar.

Ya know what I think about Marie Callendar? She's trying too hard. The best Pot Pies are the simple pot pies. Marie is trying to one-up the competition by sticking unneccesary ingredients in her premium pot pies, which indubitably diminish the overall quality of said pies. Creamy Alfredo Chicken pot pie sounds delicious in principal, but upon actual consumption, a sharp disappointment is quickly realized. Please Mrs. Callendar, surely you will take a hint from TLC and "Don't go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to." In your case, rivers are meats (chicken and turkey only please (maybe beef for those who like it)) and lakes are veggies (carrots, peas, green beans, onions only). The gravy should correspond accordingly with the meat. That is all for today's class.

Cornbread Scottie

Apocalypse POW

thank god paste week is over and we can rage again. those were the longest four days i have had in a long time. also, for those confused about the length of paste week: don't be. paste week is not seven consecutive days of paste. instead, it is a frame of mind that we had to assume in order to properly wain ourselves off of the rage and realize the endless delight of some bona fide lovin'. i can say this confidently as someone with a little bit of life experience, as well as the right clothes and right appearance. oh oh oh oh.