Phoenix Haus!

ChickenBLAST! is real

2010-07-30T09:02:00.001-07:00

Get into ChickenBlast! and get a face-full of crispy greatness. Learn what true enlightenment is by glancing the faces of the blissfully blasted. Send in your own pics of your private and public blasts; Blast! strangers, Blast! friends, Blast! enemies.

The world needs Blast!ing, and the fine people of Phoenix haus will be the disciples of the crunchy chicken revolution.

Lets make that million dollars people.

ChickenBlast!

2009-12-09T19:38:00.001-08:00

2009-12-07T22:45:00.001-08:00

sweet sea sensation

2009-12-07T17:38:00.000-08:00

I first saw this on Sat. and I can't seem to stop watching it:

2009-12-02T16:37:00.000-08:00

october post

2009-10-07T18:06:00.000-07:00

Just posting in October.

ALERT: DUMBEST THING IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM

2009-09-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

I have an outrageous new obsession, and I would like to announce that it is the dumbest thing in the solar system: Olympus Mons. Seriously, what a stupid physical feature. Oh, hey Earth! How high is your tallest mountain?

"29,029 feet."

Believable, reasonable, sensible. I'm glad you're in the solar system, Earth. What about you, Mars? How high is your tallest mountain?

"81,840 feet."

OK, Mars -- easy does it. That isn't even a cool thing to say, Mars. Just because that is a horizon-changing mountain doesn't make it the least bit desirable. I will definitely not be staking my claim on anything close to Olympus Mons when we travel to Mars to begin terraformation and rebuild civilization on a new planet. No. No thank you. Not that sweet. I'd rather bathe in brackish water than watch a Martian sunset with Olympus Mons in the way.
For more information, check out Your Guide to Olympus Mons: The Largest Volcano in the Solar System. It blows.

gem from look at this fucking hipster

2009-08-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

For those of you who remember when we threw that 90s/Space Jam party back in the spring of 2008, I think this guy pretty much covers what we were looking for:

CALLING ALL FANS OF ZOMBIE MOVIES

2009-08-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

This was at the Traverse City Film Festival and I am exceptionally pissed that I had to work during its showing. It is on my to-watch list, and it should probably be on yours:

skating babies

2009-08-08T07:28:00.001-07:00

the best part is definitely right around 42ish seconds.

jack in the box?

2009-08-04T20:10:00.001-07:00

CAN THEY EVEN DO THAT?

first step to internet fame

2009-07-29T15:14:00.001-07:00

charles and i are going to start a blog reviewing movies without seeing them first. it will be great.

here is my inaugural review, for julie & julia.

"so this movie is about julia child, right? and some other bitch named julie? i get it. i saw this preview in an actual movie theater, before either star trek or angels & demons. actually, neither of those sound like a movie that would have this preview before it, but i can't think of anything else i saw in theaters lately, so whatever.

okay, it goes back and forth between julia child in cooking school in paris, 1940s time, and present day amy "julie" adams, cooking all her recipes for some damn reason. i am interested in half this movie. don't make me tell you which half. to be clear, it isn't the half with amy adams and her stupid mullet. it is the part with meryl streep doing a bitching soundalike of j.c. maybe i'll be julia child for halloween.

i bet at the end of the movie, both of them learn something about themselves. perhaps a reorganization of priorities. there will be commentary on the "food community" (foodmunity) in both eras. $20 says it ends with a "x years later" flashforward. amy adams hair will be stupid, but maybe less stupid in the flashfoward. if you see this, you will have wished you saw something else instead, but not enough to make a big stink about it, because half of it was okay. you will give it 3 stars if you like food and blogs and foodblogs, 2 if you don't."

"growing food is sooo good, ummm, for the people, because it's free. alls you have to do is pay the farmers. and pay for the land."

2009-07-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

This girl speaks on behalf of every idiot you've ever had class with that speaks for participation points only, rather than saying anything substantial and informed:

"so we should just... sell it at the farmers market."

What they eat don't make us shiiiiit REAL TALK

2009-07-23T08:23:00.001-07:00

i have a lot of free time.

2009-07-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

It can't be that hard to pick up the theremin, right? And I need a hobby.

Oh, nevermind, I just tried to move my left hand up and down at the same time as moving my right hand horizontally, and I can't do it. Looks like I'm back on the hobby market.

But still, theremins: pretty cool.

Oldest People

2009-07-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

I got on the interweb edition of The New York Times this morning for my daily wake-up browse of current events and discovered that the (former) world's oldest man died in the UK after hanging out for 113 years. Then the talk of supercentenarians came up and I liked the word, so I wikipediared it and looked at some others. Turns out the oldest person of all time was a French woman who lived to 122, dying in 1996. According to this lady, the key to longevity is "garlic, vegetables, cigarettes, red wine, and avoiding brawls." I guess she also ate and bathed in a lot of olive oil, consumed port wine and ate a bunch of chocolate. I don't know about you guys, but I presume she is trying to maintain her hold on the record. How cunning.

One question: where's the cake? She might be blind, but I am pretty sure she can tell the difference between cake and imagination cake. Unless that is a huge 121 on top of a piece of French toast.

YES.

2009-07-03T07:29:00.000-07:00

I forgot how much I love this video.

I LOVE THIS VIDEO. It's fucking perfect. Chevy Chase is still handsome and funny - at the time, he hadn't driven the Griswold's wagon-queen-family-truckster off the cliff of cultural relevancy quite yet. Remember when Chevy Chase was funny? He was. Paul Simon is charmingly small and as endearing as ever, but unlike Chevy, that hasn't changed. I know ya'll remember this from watching VH at your folks' house as a kid, but give it a shot.

I also forgot how fucking great this song is. ITS FUCKING GREAT. That part where he's talking about "angels in the architecture" and ends it with "hallelujah"? FUCK.

PS - I'm not implying that Chevy Chase's career ended with National Lampoon's Vacation - it ended in the early nineties when all of his movies got shitty and flopped. Then, someone had the lack of foresight to give him a talk show, which also sucked. It was around the same time Michael Jackson ACTUALLY died and some creepy white woman replaced him and started making really shitty music in his name.

WHEN INTERESTS COLLIDE

2009-07-01T16:16:00.001-07:00

I don't like a lot of movies, but I do like Star Trek and Mean Girls.

THE ULTIMATE SPRING PIGLET

2009-06-21T19:58:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember OOOOH I CAN ORDER MY SPRING PIGLET NOW: The Sam Titze Story?

Well, this funny lol video pretty much shows what I plan to do with my pig whenever I end up getting one, music and all.

guests take dip in beer pool

2009-06-17T17:37:00.000-07:00

An Austrian holiday resort is offering guests the chance to swim in a pool containing 42,000 pints of beer.

The beer-filled swimming pool /Europics

The Starkenber Beer Myth resort located in and around the medieval castle of Starkenberger in Austria's Tyrol region has filled seven 13ft long pools with the beer.

The management claims that beer baths heal various skin diseases.

However, some guests are said to have enjoyed drinking their favourite brew while swimming in the pools.

Manager Markus Amann, 23, said: "I would rather swim than swallow, as we serve enough of a cold, fresh tapped beer on the bars next to the pools."

SUMMER PROJECT OHMYGOD

2009-06-03T21:12:00.001-07:00

This is my summer project. I invite you to join me on this miraculous journey:

http://iliketurtlezz.blogspot.com/

LIVE: Join me while I'm pissed

2009-06-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm currently taking a break (just a week) from my loyalty to Letterman to witness Conan O'Brien's first week at the 11 o'clock slot, and Green Day is performing another song that sounds like every other one they've ever created, and I hate them so much. One of the top three days I can imagine includes Green Day being hit by four buses in the middle of a four-way intersection: all four buses crash into one another, ending in a beautiful explosion. Wow that would be perfect.

2009-06-02T11:03:00.000-07:00

Toy Story 3?

2009-05-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is set for release in June of 2010. I had no idea, but after seeing them again I realized how much I missed these guys. Here is an enjoyable advertisement.

MORE WKUK

2009-05-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

I LOVE WKUK

A preview (NOW WITH AMENDMENTS!!!)

2009-05-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

TOPICS OF THREE RANTS I HOPE TO DELIVER THIS SUMMER THAT HAVE NOT ALREADY BEEN RANTED (THOUGH SANDRA LEE WILL PROBABLY EARN ANOTHER RANT, PERHAPS HER OWN BLOG):

1. Zach Braff
2. Human Resources
3. Belarus: the new Russia

AMENDMENT 1

I don't even know how many people look at this thing anymore, but at risk of having too many consecutive posts, I decided to amend my most recent post. This is an assignment for any and/or all of you who are still in East Lansing. I have broken it into steps:

-Go to Charlie Kang's for lunch [INSTANT TOP SCORE!]
-Look at the moving(?) picture in the northwest corner of the dining area.
-Determine if it is this photo...
-Report findings

I was simply searching for a nice picture of Neverland, and after finally sorting through the overly abundant supply of photos showing Michael Jackson standing next to a huge gate, this one popped up. I am almost certain that this is part of the decor, but I need to have confirmation. In the meantime, I will continue to pine over my lost Asian love.

AMENDMENT 2

I encourage everyone to try to go back in time to a house dinner in the spring of '08, when a conversation was had regarding the questionable existence of the Women's Lounge in the Union. Outraged, Ashley retorted, "EVERYWHERE'S THE MEN'S LOUNGE!" She was right, and failblog provides evidence:
Win.

Sick of Wikipedia?

2009-05-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

Then check out Dickipedia

URGENT!

2009-05-06T19:28:00.000-07:00

watch this! graffiti animation.

2009-05-06T08:39:00.001-07:00

Substitute Teaching: Memories

2009-05-04T20:45:00.000-07:00

Since I started this whole substitute teaching phase, there have been many enjoyable moments. Sometimes, when I think about how ridiculous it is that I, of all people, am occasionally cultivating the future, I laugh at myself. Among the more entertaining moments as of late happened this past Friday. I was standing in as a 1st grade teacher, and after battling with the children to understand that it was cloudy outside, we did the Pledge of Allegiance. Not only did I feel like I was in charge of a little army of American soldier-zombies, but I started laughing at my army when they faded right into singing "This land is your land, this land is my land..." and you know the rest. I couldn't help but to just start cracking up. I felt badly because I think some of them thought I was laughing at them, but I was really just thinking, "This is my life."

The Wrong News

2009-05-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

His name is Mr. Charles Rennie, and he is an awesome teacher.

butter, y'all

2009-05-03T21:06:00.000-07:00

Finally, a worthy memorial to Paula Deen.

SANDRA LEE IS A DRUNKEN CHRISTMAS WHORE

2009-05-02T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's time for another one of these. Sandra Lee has pissed me off for so many years that I am occasionally surprised that I can still get so riled up when I watch Semi-Homemade Cooking. I don't even really intend to watch it, but when she looks like a goddamned pit crew member next to a racing track, of course I'm going to take the half-hour out of my day to find out what shit she will mix with other shit to make one bigger pile of shit. So, you might ask, what did Sob-Story Sandra come up with at the race track? Gasoline burgers with corn wrapped in Beggin' Strips, with some flaky butter paste goo, coursely smeared on one-fifth of the corn's surface area. Yes, this explosive meal is what happens when you go from fucking Kurtain Kare with Mrs. Brady to a show about making canned soup that looks like it's filmed inside of a giant faberge egg. For some godforsaken reason, Sandra thinks everyone is just itching to throw a gaudy themed party-bash with cocktails made of straight sugar and booze. Maybe a Kool-Aid packet or some jello mix on the side. After seeing so many of these horrible tablescapes and pastel-colored drinks full of vodkar, I am beginning to wonder: "Sam, is it time for a party like one of these? Could Sandra actually be on to something here? Where's the whiskey?"

The answer, clearly, is no. Absolutely not. And I don't know where the whiskey is. By no means am I going to eat dinner with a four-foot tall pile of nutcrackers forming a skyline on the dining room table. This is plainly and simply so, so fucking retarded, that I can't even imagine how she comes up with these gags. It seems like she must just get drunk, hop in her car and cruise on down to Michaels to fill a shopping cart with an entire aisle's worth of holiday-themed craft components, with no care in the world as to WHETHER OR NOT THE TABLE ACTUALLY HAS ROOM FOR ALL OF THE JUNK.

Why on Earth would anyone be interested in making dinner in a Cher costume? Nothing is convenient about this. Instead, she just looks like some dick with a cooking show and too much food coloring at her disposal. Understand this, Sandra: THE ONLY THING THAT WILL EVER REQUIRE UP TO TEN DROPS OF FOOD COLORING IS TECHNICOLOR PASTAR. She would never make that, though, because it was more than 30% homemade:

Yes, I can believe it's Sandra Lee. Why? Because only Sandra Lee would act as if using a FRESH lemon somehow makes the meringue more snazzy. And here's another shocker: Sandra is now a spokesperson for KFC.

So, you're "the Colonel's Girl"? Of course you love their chicken. I can't wait until the episode airs when she has decided to have a KFC tablescape and everything she makes uses KFC chicken as a building block. Now don't get me wrong here -- I love KFC when the time is right, but I also understand that it is what it is. It is chicken that I am perfectly OK with purchasing in bulk for $13 or whatever, only to wander around, handing it out to people who will just walk half of a block down the street and drop it in the bushes in front of a sorority. This is fine, because it is a grease sponge, and sometimes I want to eat that. But no one should have a show on the Food Network and be off giggle-talking on the side about how much they love KFC's chicken. Unacceptable. Bottom score.

More good news! Sandra Lee has a new show premiering soon, to be called "Sandra's Money Saving Meals." I don't know about you, but I cannot wait to watch her wander up and down the frozen food aisle for thirty minutes. God save the Queen.

Superheros are Real!

2009-05-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

world superhero registry

My favorite is angle grinder man. He takes boots off cars.

cat jump in and out of tall box

2009-04-30T09:37:00.001-07:00

Cat In A Box @ Yahoo! Video

SANDRA LEE HATES YOUR MOM

2009-04-28T21:21:00.001-07:00

All aboard the Swine Flu Mobile!

i am not here to make friends either

2009-04-28T20:00:00.001-07:00

Study Shows Conservatives think Colbert is Serious

2009-04-28T07:30:00.001-07:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/27/colbert-study-conservativ_n_191899.html

DOG

2009-04-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

apparently he couldn't find a little lady. . .

2009-04-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

this is a small man dancing with a normal size cat. wrap your brain around that.

2009-04-22T18:33:00.001-07:00

GUTEN TAAAAG

2009-04-22T12:57:00.000-07:00

There is a strong possibility that I have already posted this but I LOVE IT AND I DON'T CARE.

shamwow en espanol

2009-04-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

I've been talking about this for a while and some other blog posted it after the beatdown he gave to that hooker. Anyway, it's halarious AND he does his own spanish

Liquid Sky

2009-04-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and first wandered around the house before I eventually settled down in the front living room with a bowl of WHEATIES: BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS. After cringing through the last half-hour of the Today Show (because I live the life of a middle-aged housewife) I turned on The Price Is Right (because I also live the life of a retired person) and I thought, "Why not watch The Price Is Right AND watch clips of a movie where space aliens land to feed off of endorphins released during heroin use?"

That's right, a random wikipediar search brought up Liquid Sky, which sounds even funnier than it looks. Classic '80s feel that still makes me wish to experience that decade as more than just an infant/toddler. If anyone has seen this, I'd love to know if it truly is as outrageous as it looks. Check out this clip of the first five minutes, which is conveniently available on youtube. Be careful, though, because some Soviets were involved in its production. I hope you guys eat this shit up, because I certainly am:

Also, on an unrelated side note, can our blog look different? These dots are really eating at me.

Whats Obama doin' bout all this global climate change?

2009-04-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

yeah for superpoop.com

if hillary clinton were president...

2009-04-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

Many months ago Ashley posted about some bizarre dreams she had had, and after last night, I can't help but to do the same. My departure from college quantities of raging has induced a certain level of clarity in my dreams that has been unknown to me until these last few months. I intentionally stay up extremely late so I can sleep more deeply than would otherwise be possible, and the results are very strange.

The dream took place first in East Lansing, and, for some reason, President Obama had been assassinated but I was the only one who knew it. I think in my subconscious I forgot Joe Biden was VP because the dream allowed Hillary Clinton to take over and she was delivering speeches charged with feminist rhetoric. There was a parade going down Grand River and it was promoting a waffle party that a number of us ending up going to. There were many different things to put on the waffles and we were all quite pleased with what the new president had done for us, even though I was the only one aware that Hillary was behind the party. Waffles for everyone and all was well again, despite a presidential assassination earlier in the day. As the sun started setting we ended up on the neighbor's roof (still eating waffles) and then I suddenly teleported to the gym in my middle school for an awards ceremony, but awards were never given. Instead, there were sheets of construction paper taped to the walls all the way around, and the person speaking to everyone was just going around and pointing to every sheet and saying its color into the microphone, turning into a weird sort of trance-like hynoptic event. They were only green, orange, gray and yellow, in no particular order until it was just alternating between green and orange. Still, no one was worried about the fact that Obama was assassinated. Then I started panicking about what was happening to the remaining Obama family, and people soon started to think I had lost my mind because I was so convinced that there was an assassination. Finally, a giant apparition of Joe Biden's head and torso appeared in the gym and he explained what had happened, which allowed for people to finally believe me. Hillary was then forced to step down (reluctanly), all waffle parties were over and order was restored on behalf of the new and rightful President Biden.

WATCH THIS TRAILER AND TELL ME YOUR NOT EXCITED

2009-04-09T10:15:00.003-07:00

Watch Spike Jonzes Everyone Poops and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

SCOUT BANANA Dance Video!

2009-04-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

So proud of my kids!

USAISAMONSTER: fight no more forever

2009-03-30T06:17:00.001-07:00

I don't know, you tell me what I was thinking when i saw this.

More brackets anyone?

2009-03-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

http://www.npr.org/news/graphics/2009/mar/bracket2012/

2009-03-27T17:40:00.000-07:00

WATCH THIS TRAILER AND TELL ME YOU ARE NOT EXCITED

WILD THING

2009-03-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

WATCH THIS TRAILER AND TELL ME YOU ARE NOT EXCITED

TONGGGGGUUEU!!!!!!1

2009-03-20T14:44:00.000-07:00

pabst blue coffin

2009-03-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

this man loves pbr so much he wants to be buried inside a giant can of it. frankly this makes no sense to me, but live and let live i suppose. . . or live and let die and get buried in a beer can.

anyway, to fulfill his weird dreams he made a coffin to carry him to the afterlife in class - first place, blue ribbon winning class.

you might look at this picture and say "it looks like a cooler, not a coffin," to which i would respond "good observation, blog reader."

in fact, that is the brilliant part. while this man is still alive he can use his coffin to chill his beverages. now that is what i call a functional alcoholic. cheers.

recession = lots of interactive maps

2009-03-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

UNEMPLOYMENT RATES MADE FUN

and also...

associated article: who's going down hardest.

yeah yeah

2009-03-17T20:41:00.001-07:00

http://www.formatmag.com/features/lego-hip-hop-album-covers/

Who's that tourist on the left?

2009-03-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

YEP. VLADIMIR PUTIN.

DO NOT FAIL YOUR SPECIES

2009-03-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

I first saw this years ago, but my memory finally clicked and I remembered the title. Now, please, enjoy My Little Golden Book About Zogg (click the 'next' button beneath the picture to turn the pages).

Smoking smarties to kill big tobacco

2009-03-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

I just read about this phenomenon in Advertising Age. The candy companies must be upset because the kids are smoking the candy instead of eating it. If I was big tobacco, I'd be getting nervous. These two videos are the best.

.GIFs!!!!!111

2009-03-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

Eva posted about this a while ago... but we just found it.

Finally, a sensible biker

2009-03-08T11:11:00.000-07:00

I just read an article from Friday's edition of The New York Times, and it was all about bikes on the streets. Despite what my behavior over the past couple years indicated, I don't hate bikes; I simply hate how the majority of bikers act when they are riding around on the streets, as well as how bikes can trash a shared house. Since I plan to be living in a city soon, I am planning to use the public transportation-bike combo as my mode of transportation, since I doubt I will be able to afford much of the expenses of driving all the time, because getting a good job as a recent graduate is something of a laughable prospect nowadays. That being said, I am somewhat reluctant to take up this transportation option because I am all too familiar with the mentality of a driver who is bothered by the erratic behavior of a biker who believes he is invincible, not to mention exempt from traffic laws. Anyhow, this article is more of a request that bikers bike more consistently, so as to end the battle between bike and car, as well as the one between bike and pedestrian. His arguments seem quite valid, and I soon hope to see a change in the nature of our county's transportation infrastructure. In the meantime, though, I think it makes sense to be less of a menace so that people who are undyingly pro-automobile might be enlightened to the countless merits of biking as an alternative to driving. I know some cities have managed to start this process, but so many haven't. Until people see that bikes can function alongside cars, I think it's quite obvious who will win the battle. I also like the article because it caricatures all of you hipster bikers all too well, chain locks and all. Check it out:

A Modest Proposal - Bikers, Take the High Road

Unicorns and rainbows OnDemand!!!!!1111

2009-03-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

2009-03-05T14:11:00.000-08:00

someone from high school had this link for their facebook status, but i'm certain you guys will like it, too:

What's a synonym for thesaurus?

2009-03-03T17:04:00.000-08:00

KTs - I think you would enjoy the subject of this post more than others, but I'm certain we can all find this humorous at the expense of a high school girl who has yet to realize that a thesaurus is not your best friend when writing.

I just went through a section of Traverse City's local newspaper and, as an already sub-par newspaper, the decision to include a weekly section called Generation Why is a mistake for countless reasons. The Generation Why section provides high school students the opportunity to write articles that should never be published but, for some unknown reason, are. This girl, Jenna Hubbell, should be embarrassed forever. Her article's title, "A crown and beauty pageant with some thought behind it", is very inappropriate; it should be titled "Alliteration meets thesaurus, self-declared princess thinks she can do anything." Here is some of her finest, clutter-filled jib jab bullshit:

"The desolate silence was broken when the melody commenced and my timorous, petite body uttered the tear-jerking 'Annie'-inspired lyrics. The hum of my thunderous voice echoed across the room, twisting the smirks to expressions of admiration. When the final note sprang from my lips, the lights gradually began to dim with the sounds of stirring ovation filling the room. I thankfully gleamed at the sight of the applause and skipped off the stage."

Wow, Jenna, your performance must have been phenomenal. You must have enjoyed it more than everyone. Let's continue:

"I will confess that when initiating the whole pageant process, I was one of many who viewed it as a 'beauty pageant,' meaning that it was for condescending and imperceptive, yet striking girls. I previously believed that pageants were solely founded on appearance. Glancing back on the endeavor in which I experienced eight years ago, I realize that because of the pageant, my previous judgments were, indeed, erroneous."

Oh god, where do I begin? Condescending and imperceptive, yet striking girls? This whole paragraph is comical, since it is an accidental confession of her own superficiality. So, Jenna, you're not just striking, eh? Because you're different, you are striking and brilliant? Oh yeah - I like to experience in endeavors, too. Let's see what happens next...

"Eight years ago, I slouched before the crooked grins with trepidation, today; I stand before the mirror and painfully fasten the heavy crown upon my head, preparing to assertively represent my community as Miss Elk Rapids 2008. I am proud to call myself an ambassador of my community. Because of the pageants I have taken part in, I am who I am today; I do not wear the crown because I am beautiful; I wear the crown because I am a driven, intelligent and assertive young lady."

Jenna adverbily adverbed her adverbified adverbs. Thesaurus thesaurus thesaurus. Semicolon. Self-adoration. Embellish your importance.

How embarrassing.

I'm In A Snuggie!

2009-03-03T11:11:00.000-08:00

Get your shamwow's out BITCH!

The Sauciest

2009-03-03T08:36:00.001-08:00

Now if they actually attempted to sing Ghetto Gospel, then they might be on to something. Nonetheless, I still can't decided if the not-like-other-gospel-choir-leaders cool choir leader is funnier than the confused elderly gospeleers.
Maybe book them for the next haus party if you guys ever decide to have one again (that is, if you're even allowed to have parties anymore).

coming soon...

2009-03-02T19:09:00.000-08:00

it weirds me out that it's weirding you out

2009-03-02T17:09:00.000-08:00

http://myparentsjoinedfacebook.com/

This has not ever happened to me. Has this happened to you? I apologize if so.

Obama & T.I. - Whatever I Like

2009-02-27T18:05:00.000-08:00

This video is incredible! I was viewer number: 8,205,311

This is how we do it

2009-02-27T09:21:00.000-08:00

Kevin, expect a celebration like this next time we play Ping-Pong. The floor of the living room will be cleaner than ever; I'm going to mop every corner with your sorry ass.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Public Service Announcements at their finest!

2009-02-24T22:03:00.000-08:00

and finally...

THEME SONG OF MY LIFE

2009-02-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

American Ap-perv-al

2009-02-19T15:47:00.001-08:00

free boat ride for three

2009-02-17T16:22:00.000-08:00

Have we seen and laughed at this yet? If no, do. If yes, disregard.

let's have a fiscally but not sexually conservative valentine's day

2009-02-14T15:23:00.000-08:00

http://phoenixhouse.blogspot.com/

???

Are we going to have to wage some sort of territorial war?

ALSO: Did you all know that sexism is almost over? According to the philosophy major in my class, all we have to do is wait a generation or so, and then everything is going to be great forever. Also, he enlightened me to the fact that it is apparently a lot harder to be a privileged, rich, white American male because it means you "don't have anything to fight against." TRUE OR FALSE, PRIVILEGED WHITE MALES WHO READ THIS BLOG?

Anyway thank god for that because I was getting tired of all the sexism everywhere, but I can rest easy now.

Also, I have a Valentine for all of you:

Here is a link to some other Valentines I would be thrilled to receive (Charles): Law and Order SVU Valentines.

That is all, carry on with whatever you were doing (which my case was watching the "Single Ladies" video on Youtube).

ho-hum, ho-hum

2009-02-05T14:50:00.000-08:00

“This is America,” Mr. Obama said on Wednesday. “We don’t disparage wealth. We don’t begrudge anybody for achieving success. And we believe that success should be rewarded. But what gets people upset — and rightfully so — are executives being rewarded for failure. Especially when those rewards are subsidized by U.S. taxpayers.”

It's no entertaining video, but it is certainly a well-stated, temporary remedy for a growing frustration with corporate CEOs:

Boo Hoo in the Boardroom

dream car

2009-02-05T07:59:00.001-08:00

Star Wars, or something like it

2009-02-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Been There! Done That!

2009-02-04T09:17:00.001-08:00

"Hmmm, today I think I will try to kill myself via shark..."

2009-02-03T18:37:00.000-08:00

Revered by all. . . the Phoenix

2009-02-01T22:19:00.000-08:00

Stumbled across this interesting site the other day. It gives a great history of mythology, symbolism, and general badass-i-ness of our namesake.

Check it!

Whatchu want, Natalie? To drink and fight.

2009-01-31T12:55:00.000-08:00

I'm a gangsta and ganstas don't ask questions

2009-01-31T08:54:00.000-08:00

Watch CBS Videos Online

Money as Debt

2009-01-21T15:49:00.000-08:00

I know it seems long but this video sums up the monetary system and the stranglehold bankers have, so by that measurement it's short. As Carolyn Baker put it- the video is far from entertaining... but "if it doesn't leave your blood boiling, it behooves you to check your vital signs." Her article for the Populist Party website is here.

usury bad! co-ops good!

Student Organization Goes Nonprofit to Benefit Health in Africa

2009-01-21T12:04:00.000-08:00

NEWS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
16 January 2009

STUDENT ORGANIZATION GOES NONPROFIT TO BENEFIT HEALTH IN AFRICA

East Lansing - To suggest that college students armed with bananas could create anything wholesome and family-friendly may raise a few eyebrows.

But to suggest that college students and bananas are the backbone of a dynamic, progressive organization that has raised more than $150,000 to date and inspired countless people to improve basic health care in Africa? That may raise more eyebrows.

Eight years ago, Alex Hill was going door-to-door to raise funds for a health center in Uganda. Today, along with an army of colleagues sporting banana-yellow shirts, his organization, SCOUT BANANA, has become an official nonprofit that supports 10 health care projects in 10 countries within Africa.

With its new status, SCOUT BANANA has a new education program in the works that will create curriculum that increases knowledge and awareness about the African continent. The program includes an interactive education website, curriculum and resources for elementary and high school classrooms, and an internship program for university students to participate in on-the-ground health care projects.

Current programs of SCOUT BANANA are thriving and growing, including the new academic journal, Articulate: Undergraduate Scholarship Applied to International Development. SCOUT BANANA continues to serve as a hub that brings together communities, academics, activists, community leaders and young people to ensure that global health is everyone’s responsibility and every individual’s human right.

SCOUT BANANA started in 2001 as a project that delivered an ambulance to the St. Ambrose Health Center in Uganda by raising over $67,000 through the support of hundreds of families and over 60 community organizations. SCOUT BANANA, which stands for Serving Citizens of Uganda Today Because Africa Needs A New Ambulance, became the acronym of Hill’s Boy Scout project.

SCOUT BANANA will spend its next phase building a youth movement of individuals who will are compassionate, competent, and collaborative agents of change. "It's not just about donations anymore," states Monica Mukerjee, a staff member of the organization. "It's about research, collaboration, and bringing Africa to the forefront. By inspiring others to be dedicated to Africa, SCOUT BANANA is fueling long-term change and growth in health care and development."

The organization invites all supporters, interested public, and close friends to their Nonprofit Launch Party on 21 February 2009 at the Gone Wired Cafe (6pm) for music, food, fun, and to celebrate the launch of the nonprofit!

To learn more or make a donation, visit www.scoutbanana.org. For additional information, contact the Executive Director, Alex Hill, at alex.h@scoutbanana.org or (810) 516-6547.

XXX

Toboggan Rage Season

2009-01-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

Half of Ragecyclopedia Ragetanica's original four entries were supposed to be dedicated to toboggan raging. Here is evidence of downhill toboggan rage, so let's work on evidencing the uphill half.
p.s. NEVER GRADUATE - I'M SO BORED ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY, ALL DAY, FOREVER, ALWAYS.

2009-01-15T16:55:00.000-08:00

FREE ENERGY SUPPRESSION...YOUR THOUGHTS?

Wanna assassinate Obama? . . . goodluck

2009-01-14T14:48:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of Andy Cease:

Who doesn't want a sweet-ass Cadillac?

if sculptures are cool . . .

2009-01-13T15:57:00.000-08:00

. . . aren't underwater sculptures cooler?

check out the underwater sculpture garden in the west indies.

The Secret Saved My Life

2009-01-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.
At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.
My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be [...] raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.
Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.
The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.
The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness actually made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.

2008-12-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

Funny take on Mel Gibson's antisemitism:

this movie really sucks, though

2008-12-27T19:40:00.000-08:00

I have often wondered: if you were gay and happened to find someone with your same name attractive, would that be a little weird?

Answer: no, and Eva Green is really hot.

Phoenix Haus Christmas with the Cat

2008-12-27T07:54:00.001-08:00

I want to make tacos. I want to eat Chinese food.

2008-12-22T09:43:00.000-08:00

Another fine video, complements of da Biggest. Can't really begin to explain the woman:

I thought this picture was funny...

2008-12-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

harlequin type ichthyosis

2008-12-17T16:19:00.000-08:00

holy shit balls this video is heartbreaking. worst skin disorder i've ever seen! i do not recommend google image searching the disorder. in case you do, i've attached a picture of what appears to be a princess feeding a baby unicorn flowers while the big unicorn watches. the giant moon and the impossibly crystallized castle really set the scene, as the patriarch of the unicorn family neighs on pride rock. this image might help you feel better about the babies.

2008-12-16T10:03:00.001-08:00

I JUST LOST THE GAME.

see yas

2008-12-11T18:32:00.000-08:00

Thanks for everything, guys. I can't say that I could have asked for anything more from Phoenix Haus. My happiest days of the last few years were here. Don't have too much fun without me next semester.

"nice guys"

2008-12-10T19:47:00.001-08:00

Here is what's been distracting me from writing papers tonight!

Accompanying links:
Some people arguing sensibly, a few people missing the point completely
A Nice Guy rant
A rebuttal to a defense on Nice Guys
"Why Nice Guys Are Often Such Losers" from Heartless Bitch

A quote:
"There are a lot of Nice Guys out there, and they are incredibly insidious, because on the surface they SEEM so sweet, so misunderstood, so very different from the boorish asshole who cheated on you or told you that those pants do, indeed, make your ass look fat. But in the end, they turn out to be using their "niceness" as an excuse to hide behind, much like medieval aristocracy used cloying perfumes to cover up the ass-stank of their unwashed bodies.

I have some news for you, Nice Guys of the world. "Nice" isn't as much of a selling point as you'd think. In fact, for most women, it's like expecting that your new car will come with wheels attached."

ANYWAY WHATEVER, I am am going to go live in Homeworksville USA now.

Jizz In My Pants

2008-12-10T05:50:00.001-08:00

This is a personal apology to anyone afflicted by this horrific condition, as well as any la la la laadddiiiieeeessss i may have left unsatisfied

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.